Ah, I started you by joining the mad creatures camouflaged as online teachers in Portofino. Quite a compact beach, April. I used to love crowds. These past few months, however the city became suffocating. Perhaps it is P’s calming effect on me. Or perhaps I am resigning to age. My poems find solace in the mundane, the silent, the silenced. I become calm, stable, happier.
Lately, I’ve been cocooned by work, work, and work, interjected with excursions every now and then.
Why do I stay in this yet another unstable job? Because I can be both public and private. Because I have freedom. Because I am my own person. Because I can bring my kitchen, my library and cram them into my block. Because I can read online while conducting my job. Because the crazy antics of these so-called respectable online tutors—though we’re nothing but heavy laughers even at the slightest, silliest jokes one could imagine—are beyond reproach.
Because I can cancel my work and let the mind, the body wander. Yes, because I find happiness in restlessness, in ex-stasis knowing there is always that somebody expecting me to return.