The author of this article does not want to be named. This is his response to my article “On Being a Dark-Skinned Filipina Traveling around the Philippines.”
Far from being an issue specific to the Philippines, this is a problem everywhere, mostly in places that money is an issue, I think. When I say “you” below, I don’t mean YOU, the blogger. Just the general you, as in everyone.
I live in New York City, and it’s basically a way of life here that we all complain and think about. People date based on wealth, apartment location, career advancement…basically any cynical reason you could think of. Far from condemning it, I feel like most people here actually believe that this makes perfect sense and are open and unapologetic about it. Proud, even. It’s almost like capitalist dating. Why wouldn’t you date someone with money, or a better apartment, or connections? You can see it on any TV show set here; a group of girls sit over cocktails and talk about the guys they’re seeing, and blithely throw around his apartment, his salary/job, etc. I’ve lived all over the U.S., and while of course there were things like this, I never felt it was really an issue. It was more under the surface, and since all of the other cities were pretty affordable and easy to live in, nobody felt overwhelmingly focused on money/power/material circumstances. If you had a decent job, you could live where you wanted, get a house, etc.
The other accusation is guys with yellow fever love “submissive” Asian girls who will “do anything.” I always have to ask what the heck is it that people think a guy wants from a girl that he needs one who will “do anything”? What kind of debauched, gymnastic maneuver are they imagining that someone needs that this supposed meek little girl will engage in?
And at a certain point I came around to thinking, Christ, can a person not just be attracted to another person on a visceral level without subjecting every aspect of it to scrutiny and moral/ethical implications, and cultural and power analysis?